Java

The top panel shows the simple, elegant approach to coding that we all pretend to advocate for in design meetings: just instantiate a class and call a method. Clean. Direct. Sensible. But then there's what we actually do when no one's watching (bottom panel): create an unholy chain of factories, managers, services, observers, and other enterprise patterns that would make even the most dedicated architecture astronaut blush. It's the classic "I could write this in 3 lines, but my resume needs buzzwords" approach. We've all been there—turning a simple task into a dissertation-worthy implementation because "scalability" and "best practices," when really we just wanted to flex our design pattern muscles.

The special circle of hell reserved for developers is having to create an Oracle account just to download the Java SDK. Nothing quite says "we hate our users" like forcing you through a bureaucratic nightmare of forms, verification emails, and personal questions just to get the basic tools needed to write "Hello World." Meanwhile, Oracle sits there with that troll face, knowing full well you're trapped because some legacy project requires their specific JDK version. The modern developer's hostage situation.

Content judge: i sentence you to the maximum punishment.. Me: (whispering) please be death, please be death. judge: learn java Me: fuck

Spot the rebel! While every good programmer follows the sacred tradition of creating a "Hello World" as their first program, someone decided to go full chaotic evil with wazzup.php . It's like showing up to a formal wedding in a Hawaiian shirt and flip-flops. The rest are all variations of the programmer's initiation ritual across different languages—from the classic C/C++ to the more exotic Lisp, Forth, BASIC, and even Zig. But that PHP dev just had to be different. Probably the same person who uses tabs instead of spaces and puts the opening brace on a new line.

Content typeof NaN "number" 9999999999999999 10000000000000000 0.50.10.6 true ? 0.10.20.3 false ? Math.max() -Infinity Math.min () Infinity " ? "object Object" truetruetrue3 true true-true 0 true1 true true1 false (!!).length 9 9"1" "91" 91-"1" 90 0 true Thanks for inventing Javascript

Content lbaum oscherler JavaScript makes me want to flip the table and say "Fuck this shit", but can never be sure what "this" refers to. 7:03 AM Oct 30, 2015 Twitterrific for Mac 1.2K Retweets 1.3K Likes 17