Improper Error Handling Be Like

When your coworker creates a new day of the week called "Monwednesday" between Tuesday and Wednesday. Because clearly, the regular week wasn't chaotic enough! That's the kind of time-bending sorcery that happens when you code at 3 AM fueled by nothing but energy drinks and deadline panic. The commit was 9 months ago, so it's probably in production now, silently breaking calendar apps worldwide. And they say programmers can't change the fabric of spacetime!

Content C A programming language for Real Men. Most languages try to provide a simplified way to solve specific problems well. C makes no such concession and tries to be mediocre at everything. It lets you program at a very high level, and a very low level in the same program. It lets you write procedural code, object oriented code, generic code and mix them all up. It makes you decide everything and provides no help if you get it wrong. It is by far the biggest, most complicated, ugly, down-right dangerous language you can use. But it does run fast. It takes at least twice as long to program in C as any other major language (except C). The men who program in C are Real Men. The women who program in C are Real Men too. You can spot a C programmer from their testosterone fueled swagger, and the unbelievable amount of contempt they inject into the phrase Java "programmer". They'll probably do the air quotes and all. Dev: 'Hey, Reg, you know C right? What does: "Isrc Cont. cpp(52) : error C2679: binary '': no operator found which takes a right- hand operand of type 'int' (or there is no acceptable conversion) C: Program Files Microsoft Visual Studio 8C include vector (392): could be 'std: VectoriteratorT, Alloc std:VectoriteratorTy, Alloc:operator (const std:VectoriteratorTy, Alloc' with TyMain::Cont, Allocstd allocator Main::Cont while trying to match the argument list (std::VectoriteratorTy, Alloc, int)'with TyMain::Cont, Allocstd::allocatorMain::Cont " mean?' Reg: 'You missed a semicolon at the end of the line.' ProdrammerHumor.io

The grim reaper of deadlines doesn't discriminate. You start with TypeScript errors leaving a bloody trail, ignore some linter warnings because "they're just suggestions," watch your unit tests fail spectacularly, and then—with the sweet smell of caffeine and desperation in the air—you just ship that monstrosity anyway. The compiler screams, the tests weep, but the deadline laughs. It's not technical debt at this point; it's a technical mortgage with predatory interest rates that future-you will somehow have to refinance.

Content When you type so fast your IDE can't show you syntax error highlights made with mematic ProdrammerHumor.io lam speed

Ah, the classic "checking if a number is even" function written by someone who clearly slept through the modulo operator lesson. Instead of the simple return number % 2 == 0 , this poor soul is writing out every possible case until they presumably die of old age around number 2,147,483,647. This is the programming equivalent of digging a tunnel with a spoon when there's a perfectly good excavator sitting right there. The desperate tweet above the code says it all - there IS an easier way, buddy. There always is.

Content THE PEOPLE WHO ENCOUNTERED THE SAME BUG AS ME 10 YEARS AGO ON STACKOVERFLOW ME