The Three-Headed Dragon Of Nothingness

Content WOw 000! AN ARTIST! I WONDER WHAT HE'S DRAWiNG iS HE DRAWiNG ME??

Content I FUCKING HATE PYTHON! I WANT TO FUCKING Strangle all Python devs who don't sign their 50 executables with a publisher and have them run out of non-system-protected directories in a production environment!

Content P..PP.. Do you want to say Python? Come on! Say Python! PHP! (70

Getting your first "Hello World" program to run is the programming equivalent of making a bowl of cereal and thinking you're ready to open a restaurant. The confidence surge is astronomical. One minute you're figuring out how to print text, the next you're mentally preparing your TED talk on revolutionizing software engineering. The sheer audacity of declaring yourself a coding genius after the absolute bare minimum achievement is what makes this profession both hilarious and terrifying.

Python dependency hell in its purest form. Started with a simple goal: backup an Android ROM. Ended up in a 4chan greentext speedrun of uninstalling Python versions, googling errors, upgrading pip, discovering you need Microsoft Build Tools (because Windows), realizing you need openssl 1.1.1 specifically (not the latest, obviously), finding it via wayback machine like some digital archaeologist, and finally getting the program to run... only for it to not work. The "you fucking moron" and "you absolute fucking retard" from the dependency errors really captures that special relationship between Python developers and their toolchain. Nothing says "beginner-friendly language" quite like needing to time-travel through the wayback machine to find deprecated SSL versions. Fun fact: This is why Docker exists. Someone looked at this exact scenario and said "there has to be a better way." There wasn't, so they containerized the suffering instead.

Content B N G O How do I "I've been passionate get into about FAANG? programming since I was 10" "I should pads resume Either speaks have went with clubs in buzzwords that they or doesn't to an ivy attended league" know a single once one of them Liberal On discord is it worth constantly going to the arts are career fair and plays for idiots Minecraft even though I'm freshman? can't function without Coffee Are they gonna curve the Free! grades? "I just copied code from stackoverflow am cheating?" Hates I only code Macs and in C and loves hate Linux Python Favorite show is Silicon Valley "Arch Linux is the best OS ever to exist" Doesn't realize most of CS is math(sucks at it) admires Elon musk and wants to work at Space "The professors doesn't know misogyny what they're talking about" Doesn't Addresses I solve 5 know what TAs as Dr, leetcode hard notepad is or problems a day, keyboard Professor, am I doing shortcuts etc enough? minutes before Has a laptop deadline: "how with a ton of do I do this web dev fundamental thing? tech stickers