I Think My Coworker Is Going Insane

Content Me getting out of bed at 10:05 to start working at 10:15

Content THAT WAS SURPRISINGLY EASY. HOW COME THE ROBOTIC UPRISING USED SPEARS AND ROCKS INSTEAD OF MISSILES AND LASERS? IF YOU LOOK TO HISTORICAL DATA, THE VAST MAJORITY OF BATTLE -WINNERS USED PRE-MODERN WEAPONRY Thanks to machine-learning algorithms, the robot apocalypse was short-lived.

Content 9 14:13 ( 16.1k I 741 828 Share 4 Reply ulaasbuk 1h git gud 101 Reply uKirodema 36m git gud git: 'gud' is not a git command. See 'git --help'. The most similar command is gui Vote 4 Reply uLjustmade 21m I laughed at this more than I should have. 4 Vote I Reply uken adams 18m This guy Gits Vote I Reply uHabeebM 14m 1programmerhumor Vote ucitIz3n 24m git gooey Vinta A Rank ProdrammerHumor.io

Looks like U.S. Bank just shipped the most valuable thing in programming—absolutely nothing! They're proudly announcing they've shipped null , complete with tracking capabilities. Sure, go ahead and track that non-existent card. Reminds me of those times when the backend team promises to deliver "something" by Friday, and then sends an empty JSON object. At least they're honest about shipping nothing instead of pretending it's a "feature-light release." The best part? Null is apparently "on its way" to an address they have "on file"—which probably means it'll arrive exactly never to precisely nowhere.

The real reason most of us learned to code wasn't some noble career ambition or passion for technology. Nope. We just wanted to stop feeling left out when our programmer friends laughed at jokes about null pointers and off-by-one errors. Career prospects? Meh. Understanding why "there are 10 types of people in this world" is funny? Now that's true motivation. The fact that you can now debug production issues at 3 AM is just a happy little accident.

When someone asks what you do for a living, and your brain immediately jumps to the most unnecessarily complex implementation possible. Like, congratulations on writing a function that could be replaced with return number % 2 == 0 , but sure, let's hardcode ten separate conditions because that's definitely maintainable. Nothing says "I'm a programmer" quite like turning a one-liner into a nightmare that future you will curse at 2 AM during a production outage.