How to make sure your scrums end on time

Content BLOCKCHAIN IS JUST GLORIFIED LINKED LISTS CHANGE MY MIND

Oh, the GLORY of AI-powered coding tools! Two developers armed with ChatGPT and Copilot can now speedrun creating the kind of spaghetti code nightmare that would normally require an entire battalion of engineers working overtime. It's like giving a toddler a flamethrower and calling it "efficiency gains." Sure, you're shipping features at the speed of light, but you're also accumulating technical debt faster than a college student with a new credit card. The future maintenance team is gonna need therapy AND a raise.

Content PEOPLE WHO DEBUG AFTER A LINE OF CODE PEOPLE WHO DERUG AFTER A BLOCK OF CODE PEOPLE WHO DERUG AFTER CODING ENTIRE APPLICATION

The galaxy brain approach to coding: why bother with a handful of dynamic variables when you can create a magnificent constellation of magic numbers? Nothing says "I trust my future self" quite like hardcoding 50 constants instead of using meaningful variables that might actually explain what your code does. The real 200 IQ move is creating a codebase so rigid that when requirements change (and they always change), you get to play the exciting game of "find and replace across 47 files." Bonus points if you name them all var1 through var50 !

OH. MY. GOD. The audacity of this confession! 💅 While the rest of us are slaving away crafting artisanal, hand-coded algorithms like medieval monks illuminating manuscripts, this absolute GENIUS just invented a whole new job title! "Pull Stack Developer" is the programming equivalent of saying you're a chef because you can heat up a frozen dinner. Honey, StackOverflow isn't a buffet where you can just grab whatever looks tasty! Yet here we are, watching someone proudly admit they're basically a digital kleptomaniac with a text editor. The truly SCANDALOUS part? It probably works better than half the code I write from scratch!

Content I DON'T ENJOY THIS AT ALL ANYMORE. HOW TO TELL WHEN YOU'RE A REAL PROFESSIONAL. ProarammerHumor.io