Government Officials Sorted

The classic regex lifecycle in three simple steps: start with one problem, apply regex thinking it's the solution, end up with two problems. And yes, the plural of regex is absolutely "regrets" – a truth universally acknowledged by anyone who's ever tried to debug a pattern that worked perfectly in the testing tool but somehow fails spectacularly in production. It's like watching someone reach for regex to parse HTML. You want to stop them, but it's already too late. Their soul now belongs to the matching group demons.

Content Quote 66 Only half of programming is coding. The other 90 is debugging. 99 Anonymous

Ah, the noble "Pull Stack Developer" – the honest job title we all deserve but never put on our LinkedIn profiles. While everyone's busy pretending they invented their algorithms from scratch, this hero admits what we actually do: frantically copy-paste from Stack Overflow while praying the dependencies don't break. It's not stealing, it's "leveraging community resources." The modern developer's workflow is basically: Google, copy, paste, debug someone else's mistakes, then take full credit in the standup meeting. Efficiency at its finest!

Content would like to thank the people who taught me how to code School Sit the fuck down you piece of shit!! Stack Overflow SRGRAFO

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Content Python: What if everything was a dict? Java: What if everything was an object? JavaScript: What if everything was a dict and an object? C: What if everything was a pointer? APL: What if everything was an array? Tel: What if everything was a string? Prolog: What if everything was a term? LISP: What if everything was a pair? Scheme: What if everything was a function? Haskell: What if everything was a monad? Assembly: What if everything was a register? Cog: What if everything was a typeproposition? COBOL: WHAT IF EVERYTHING WAS UPPERCASE? C: What if everything was like Java, but different? Ruby: What if everything was monkey patched? Pascal: BEGIN What if everything was structured? END C: What if we added everything to the language? C11: What if we forgot to stop adding stuff? Rust: What if garbage collection didn't exist? Go: What if we tried designing C a second time? Perl: What if shell, sed, and awk were one language? Peri6: What if we took the joke too far? PHP: What if we wanted to make SQL injection easier? VB: What if we wanted to allow anyone to program? VB.NET: What if we wanted to stop them again? Forth: What if everything was a stack? ColorForth: What if the stack was green? PostScript: What if everything was printed at 600dpi? XSLT: What if everything was an XML element? Make: What if everything was a dependency? m4: What if everything was incomprehensibly quoted? Scala: What if Haskell ran on the JVM? Clojure: What if LISP ran on the JVM? Lua: What if game developers got tired of C? Mathematica: What if Stephen Wolfram invented everything? Malbolge: What if there is no god? nixcraft