Girl I’m talking to knows about what I do for work and tried impressing me with her programming knowledge

When your dating life and Git workflow become one and the same. First guy found a partner who can actually commit (unlike most of his ex-branches), then the reply takes it to the next level with "glad you two merged" - because why have separate repositories when you can join forces? The "I'll see myself out" is the perfect git push after dropping that pun. Finding love in the comments section of a bug report might be the most developer thing ever. Still better than meeting on Stack Overflow where they'd close your dating profile as "duplicate" or "too broad."

Content DON'T KNOW WHY C CALLS RESIZABLE ARRAYS "VECTORS" ANDAT THIS POINTE I'MTODAFRAID TOASK

Subtle genius at work here. In PHP, all variables start with a dollar sign ($), but the joke pretends it's because PHP developers are desperately chasing money rather than just following syntax rules. Meanwhile, JavaScript developers are over here using camelCase like they're riding economic humps to prosperity, and Python devs think whitespace will somehow pay their bills. The irony? PHP powers ~78% of the web, including Facebook, which literally prints money. So maybe those dollar signs were prophetic after all.

Content Girls talk in higher pitch to those they're attracted to Girls speak to me in low pitch because they don't like me Girls speak to me in low pitch because of an integer overflow

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When your code says "Error on line 265" but line 265 is just a single curly brace. The absolute betrayal! That innocent little "}" sitting there, taking the blame for someone else's crimes. Meanwhile, the REAL culprit is probably a missing semicolon from 200 lines ago that's been silently plotting your downfall since coffee break. JavaScript's idea of a practical joke is to make debugging feel like trying to find a ninja in a dark room.