Expectation vs. Reality: Coding Skills Edition

The lion may be king of the jungle, but he'd be fired on day one at any tech company. Real developers know that skipping unit tests is like thinking your code works because it compiled once. Sure, you feel powerful now—until that 3 AM production bug when you're frantically debugging while questioning your career choices. The lion's confidence is cute until QA finds what the tests would have caught in minutes. Brave until the first regression!

Content No thanks! No thanks No thanks! We are too busy, We are too busy We are too busy Programmers in Enterprise Company Programmers in Startup Company Programmers in Government

Content - var s "this is a comment"

Content Programming hat's up? What do you do all day? Well done, very responsible during the pandemic. Pandemic?

So you're sitting there watching AI models devour RAM like it's an all-you-can-eat buffet, and suddenly your perfectly adequate 800-dollar PC from last year is now basically a potato compared to the 18,000-dollar monstrosity you need to run ChatGPT's cousin locally. The stock market guy is standing there absolutely BEWILDERED because the laws of economics have been shattered—your PC didn't depreciate normally, it got OBLITERATED by the AI revolution. Remember when 16GB of RAM was considered "future-proof"? LMAO. Now you need 128GB just to run a medium-sized language model without your computer turning into a space heater. The AI bubble has single-handedly made everyone's hardware obsolete faster than you can say "but I just upgraded!" It's like watching your savings account evaporate in real-time, except it's your PC's relevance instead.

Content There's a repo on Github containing some scripts used by a tech employee that his coworkers discovered after he left the company. Here's a summary of his shenanigans: xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xXx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy" xxx: You're gonna love this xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login. xxx: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am. xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xxx: holy sht I'm keeping those Reply 4 10.3k J