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Functional programming: where simple loops become philosophical dissertations on category theory. The cult that promised elegance but delivered AbstractWidgetLocalizerManagerFactoryBean instead. You know you've reached peak programming enlightenment when asking for a simple function requires a PhD in mathematics and the ability to understand what a monad actually is (spoiler: nobody knows, they just pretend). The functional purists have been making us write fold and curry functions for years while secretly laughing at how we've traded straightforward code for the privilege of feeling superior at meetups. And we fell for it. Hook, line, and higher-order function.

The eternal frontend vs. backend war strikes again! Some backend developer clearly thought UI was just "JSON with line numbers" and called it a day. Instead of creating an actual interface with buttons and graphics, they've just dumped the raw data structure onto a smartwatch screen. It's literally just a JSON object with fitness stats displayed in code format - complete with syntax highlighting! The irony is delicious - right after claiming frontend is "useless," they've created the most programmer-friendly yet user-hostile interface imaginable. Only a true backend purist would think displaying raw key-value pairs is an acceptable UI. Next update: they'll probably add more brackets and semicolons to "enhance the user experience."

Content 6 STAGES OF DEBUGGING 1. That can't happen. 2. That doesn't happen on my machine. 3. That shouldn't happen. 4. Why does that happen? 5. Oh, I see. 6. How did that ever work?

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