Webassembly Memes

Posts tagged with Webassembly

Aborted Virtual Machine

Aborted Virtual Machine
The classic tale of developer overengineering, brought to you by "pingusVM" - a project that died before it lived. Nothing screams "I've been coding too long" like deciding your VM needs both stack AND register-based architecture when one would've done just fine. Meanwhile, WebAssembly is sitting there like "been there, solved that" while our ambitious dev realizes they've reinvented a square wheel. The best projects are the ones you abandon after that 2AM moment of clarity when you realize you're competing with an entire team at Google. But hey, at least they got a funny name out of it. RIP pingusVM (2023-2023) - we hardly knew ye.

Stop Doing JavaScript

Stop Doing JavaScript
Remember when the web was just static HTML? Those were simpler times. Now we're over here connecting Redux thunks to Suspense while our node_modules folder consumes half our hard drive space. JavaScript started as a tiny language to make form validation less painful, but somehow evolved into this monster where your shopping cart app needs 807 dependencies just to render "undefined apples please" to the screen. The best part? We've collectively convinced ourselves this is normal. Meanwhile, Flash—problematic as it was—is dead, but we've replaced it with an ecosystem so complex that half the developers using it don't understand what's happening under the hood. But hey, at least we can run JavaScript everywhere now. Even places it absolutely shouldn't be.