Relational Memes

Posts tagged with Relational

SQL Dev's Existential Crisis With MongoDB Syntax

SQL Dev's Existential Crisis With MongoDB Syntax
SQL developer: "I'll just ask for users between 25-30 years old. Simple query, right?" MongoDB: "Hold my document-oriented beer while I throw this nested JSON monstrosity at you with operators like $and, $gte, and $lte that look like someone's trying to launder money through code." The mental journey from SELECT * FROM users WHERE age BETWEEN 25 AND 30 to whatever that bracket nightmare is... pure existential crisis material. The facial expressions say it all - from innocent curiosity to complete spiritual awakening.

The Facial Hair Guide To SQL Joins

The Facial Hair Guide To SQL Joins
Database joins explained through facial hair is the education we never knew we needed. Left join keeps all records from the left table but only matching ones from the right—just like how our guy keeps his left-side beard but borrows facial hair only where the right face matches. Right join? Reverse that logic. Inner join is where both tables have matching records, so only the mustache survives. And full join keeps everything from both tables, resulting in that glorious full-beard situation. Who needs ER diagrams when you've got these magnificent faces teaching SQL? The database professor we deserved but never had.

Inner Join

Inner Join
The punchline here is a perfect double entendre. Tinder, a dating app all about making "relationships," stores its data in a "relational" database. It's a database joke that hits on two levels - technical accuracy and dating wordplay. Somewhere, a database administrator is quietly chuckling while running SELECT queries in the dark.