Regional restrictions Memes

Claude Fable 5 just dropped and apparently decided to take a gap year. Straight zeros across every single benchmark while its siblings are out there crushing code and solving biology problems. The "xhigh" annotation on the 0.0% FrontierCode score is particularly chef's kiss—like marking "extremely good" on a completely blank exam paper. Meanwhile Claude Opus 4.8 is dominating with 83.4% on computer use and 82.7% on terminal benchmarks, but Fable 5 couldn't even boot up. Either this is the most catastrophic model release since Clippy, or someone forgot to flip the "works outside USA" switch in the config. Guess non-US citizens get to experience what it's like to code with a potato. At least it's consistently bad—0.0% takes dedication.