Feature not bug Memes

Posts tagged with Feature not bug

It's Not A Bug, It's A Feature

It's Not A Bug, It's A Feature
The classic programmer's defense mechanism in its natural habitat! A massive military aircraft has smashed halfway through a hangar wall, and someone's slapped "It's not a Bug" on the top image. Then the bottom shot shows the same disaster with "It's a Feature" plastered on it. This is basically the software development equivalent of watching your code crash spectacularly in production and then convincing your product manager that users actually wanted their data obliterated. "No no, the application isn't destroying your files - it's streamlining your storage requirements !"

The Three Stages Of Bug Acceptance

The Three Stages Of Bug Acceptance
The evolution of every senior developer's relationship with bugs: First, you're naive. "I'll fix this bug right away!" you declare with the enthusiasm of someone who still believes in clean code. Then comes the bargaining phase. "It's not a bug if I can't reproduce it. Must be user error." *closes ticket* Finally, enlightenment: "That weird behavior when you click exactly 7 times while holding Shift? Yeah, that's a 'feature' we totally planned. Find it in the documentation we'll write someday." Ten years in and I've mastered all three stages before my morning coffee.

Feature Not Bug: The Ten Thousand Year Seal

Feature Not Bug: The Ten Thousand Year Seal
The ancient art of bug containment! Instead of actually fixing the issue, our heroic senior dev is just casting a magical seal around it. Why solve a problem when you can just wrap it in seven layers of abstraction and pretend it's a "feature"? This is basically legacy code maintenance in its purest form. That bug's been there since Java 1.4 and nobody dares touch it because the entire payment processing system mysteriously depends on it. The commit message probably reads: "// TODO: Fix this properly before 2034" — spoiler alert: nobody will. Future generations of developers will tell tales of the forbidden code zone where dragons dwell and Stack Overflow has no answers.