Estimations Memes

Posts tagged with Estimations

The Eyebrow Of Estimation Doom

The Eyebrow Of Estimation Doom
Ah, the classic "eyebrow of doom" from engineering managers. One minute you're confidently estimating a task at 2 days, then they raise a single eyebrow and suddenly you're frantically adding buffer time like you're padding a college essay word count. The self-flagellation is real – going from "I can definitely do this" to "I am but a mere impostor who doesn't deserve a keyboard" in 0.3 seconds. The worst part? Deep down you know those original estimates were already padded by 30%. It's the corporate equivalent of writing yourself a self-deprecating note on your own forehead.

Bingo Of Crappy IT Processes

Bingo Of Crappy IT Processes
This isn't just a bingo card—it's a developer's nightmare scorecard. Got all 16 squares? Congratulations, you've unlocked the achievement "Stockholm Syndrome: Corporate Edition!" My personal favorite is "QA not needed: just write code without bugs" — right up there with "just cure cancer" and "just solve world hunger." The "call to discuss calls" square perfectly captures that special circle of hell where we spend our lives in meetings about future meetings. And don't forget the classic "It's a simple task. Are you having difficulty?" translation: "I have absolutely no idea what this involves but I'm going to make it sound like you're incompetent anyway." The real winner? "Unpaid overtime" sitting quietly in the corner like it's not the foundation this entire industry is built upon.

The Seven Deadly Dev Archetypes

The Seven Deadly Dev Archetypes
Ah, the seven deadly archetypes of every engineering team. I've worked with all of these people, and I've been all these people—sometimes in the same sprint. My personal favorite is "The Silent Operator" who hasn't spoken since the company holiday party of 2019 but somehow commits the exact fix at 2 AM while everyone else is arguing in Slack. And don't get me started on "The System Rebuilder." Sure, event sourcing sounds amazing in theory—right up until you're explaining to the CEO why the shopping cart needs six months of refactoring. The real unicorn is someone who's none of these. If you find them, lock the door and hide their passport.