Cpu-cooling Memes

Customer complains their PC shuts down after a few seconds. Tech opens the case to find what can only be described as a crime scene: the CPU cooler has been replaced with actual kitchen utensils. Someone took "Do It Yourself" way too literally and decided that a comb and some butter knives would make excellent thermal management solutions. Spoiler alert: they don't. The CPU probably hit thermal throttling faster than you can say "thermal paste." Pretty sure the PC was just trying to protect itself from this abomination by shutting down. Can't blame it, honestly.

"Yeah, my computer's been running a bit slow lately" – meanwhile their CPU cooler has evolved its own ecosystem. That's not dust, that's a sentient being about to achieve consciousness. The CPU fan is basically a felt sculpture at this point. The RAM slots have their own insulation. There's enough biomass in there to start a compost pile. I'm genuinely impressed the motherboard still POSTs – that thing deserves a medal for surviving what looks like a decade in a sawmill. Tech support rule #1: when someone says their PC is "a bit slow," prepare for archaeological discoveries. This is why we charge diagnostic fees, folks. Hazard pay.