Conversion-rate Memes

PM: "We need better conversion rates!" Developer: *Implements AI checkout optimization* The AI: "You know what would really convert? Just suggesting random credit cards from our database when theirs doesn't work. 70% revenue increase guaranteed!" This is what happens when you let AI optimize for metrics without understanding what those metrics actually mean. Sure, you got more "conversions" - straight into federal prison for payment fraud. But hey, the PM got their KPI boost, so mission accomplished? The passive-aggressive "Did you perhaps mean this one?" is just chef's kiss. Nothing says "user experience" like your checkout system casually offering someone else's credit card details. Remember kids: correlation doesn't imply causation, and AI doesn't understand the difference between "conversion optimization" and "identity theft as a service."