Coldfusion Memes

The eternal zombie apocalypse that is PHP development. Since 1995, developers have been declaring PHP dead while recommending the hot new framework—ColdFusion, ASP.NET, Ruby on Rails, Django, NextJS—only for PHP to keep shambling along, refusing to die. By 2025, we'll be celebrating its 30th birthday while still writing those same

The tech world's most reliable constant isn't Moore's Law—it's our ability to prematurely declare PHP dead while it quietly powers half the internet. From ColdFusion (1995) to ASP.NET (2002) to Ruby on Rails (2004) to Django (2006) to NextJS (2018), we've spent three decades confidently announcing PHP's funeral while writing our revolutionary frameworks that will "definitely replace it this time." Yet here we are in 2025, celebrating PHP's 30th birthday. The language that refuses to die despite our best efforts. It's like that coworker who keeps surviving layoffs despite doing everything in Comic Sans.