Code avoidance Memes

Remember that childhood game where you'd pretend the floor was lava and climb on furniture to avoid certain death? Well, modern developers play the same game, except the lava is Java. Look at these poor souls contorting themselves into impossible positions just to avoid touching a language that's been threatening to die for 20 years but somehow still runs on billions of devices. The desperate gymnastics to use literally anything else—Python, JavaScript, Rust—is the true Olympic sport of software engineering. The irony? Most of them will end up working at companies with massive Java codebases anyway. All that ceiling-clinging for nothing!

Remember that childhood game where touching the floor meant instant death? Programmers play the adult version every day. Some climb furniture, others hang from ceiling fixtures, and a few just accept their fate and lie motionless on the couch. Anything to avoid writing another line of verbose, boilerplate Java code that takes 47 classes to print "Hello World." The JVM is coming for us all eventually.

Behold the ABSOLUTE HORROR of programmers performing Olympic-level gymnastics to avoid touching Java! 💀 Look at them clinging to furniture, defying gravity, and practically dislocating their spines just to avoid those steaming coffee cup logos! The desperation! The DRAMA! It's like watching a group of cats avoiding a bath, except the bath is a programming language with verbose syntax that makes you type fourteen paragraphs just to print "hello world." The lengths we'll go to avoid writing those seven magical words: "public static void main(String[] args)"!

Developers will do literally anything to avoid touching Java code. One's climbing the walls, another's passed out on the couch, and the third is frozen in existential dread—all while the floor is plastered with Java logos. The modern developer's version of "hot lava" from childhood, except this lava comes with verbose syntax, endless boilerplate, and memory leaks that haunt your dreams. Sure, it runs on billions of devices, but at what psychological cost?