Bug Driven Development

Content You good at computers right? My laptop going crazy. Can help to fix? Your laptop what brand? Jade. Ah? What brand is that? You buy from where sial? Never heard before. I bought from Challenger. It's called Jade. Really. You take picture of the logo show me. JaDe 01:06

Content When your mom keeps telling everyone that you're a programmer and you can fix their computerprinter

Content What we say What we mean Horrible hack Homble hack that I didnt write Temporary workaround Homble hack that I wrote 'S broken There are bugs in your code It has a few issues There are bugs in my code Obscure Someone else's code doesn't have comments Self-documenting My code doesn't have comments That's why it's an awesome anquage It's my favorite language and it's really easy to do something in it. You're thinking in the wrong mindset It's my favorite language and it's really hard to do something in it. I can read this Perl script I wrote this Perl script I can't read this Perl script I didn't write this Perl script bad structure Someone else's code is badly organized Complex structure My code is badly organized Bug The absence of a feature I like our or scone The absence of a feature I don't like Clean solution It works and l understand it Wencedto rewrite it It works but I don't understand it emacs is better than vi It's too peaceful here, let's start a flame war vi is better than emacs It's too peaceful here, let's start a flame war IMHO yourare wrote Legacy code It works, but no one knows how AXCquit (ESCESCJC I don't know how to quit vi

Ah, the brilliant student who answered 24 hours instead of 6 (the length of the string "Monday"). Technically, they're measuring a different property of Monday than what the code intended. The string length? Boring. The actual duration? Galaxy brain thinking. The teacher marked it wrong, but let's be honest - this kid just invented a new data type that automatically converts temporal string literals into their real-world duration. That's not a bug, that's a revolutionary feature waiting for a venture capital round.

The special kind of hell reserved for C/C++ developers. You spend weeks meticulously crafting code that works flawlessly on your machine, only for it to burst into flames in production because some environment-specific preprocessor directive decided today was a good day to ruin your life. The best part? Your debug build works perfectly, but as soon as you ship to production—surprise! That #ifdef RELEASE section you forgot about just activated like a sleeper agent. And what do we do? Smile through the pain and pretend everything's not on fire. Classic.

Elon's master plan for Twitter profitability is peak corporate strategy: Step 1: Make Twitter profitable (revolutionary concept) Step 2: Fire developers to cut costs (because who needs those pesky people who make things work?) Step 3: Introduce paid API plans (monetize everything!) Step 4: Completely forget to create your own subscription to said API (minor oversight) Nothing says "flawless execution" like charging for something you yourself can't figure out how to use. Classic billionaire move - break the stairs while climbing them.