What comes after that?

When your GitHub access gets revoked before HR even calls you. Nothing says "surprise career transition opportunity" like finding out you're fired through a Git permission error. The modern equivalent of coming to work and your keycard doesn't work anymore. At least they didn't just git push --force you out of existence entirely!

OH. MY. GOD. The AUDACITY of pushing code on Friday! 💅 That smiling face walking away from the NUCLEAR EXPLOSION that is the production server?! That's the face of someone who just dropped a ticking time bomb and is now skipping off to weekend margaritas while the on-call team's phones MELT INTO OBLIVION! It's the ultimate "not my problem anymore" energy that only comes from either COMPLETE PSYCHOPATHY or your literal last day at the company. The production server is basically SCREAMING IN AGONY while this monster casually strolls away like they didn't just commit a war crime against DevOps!

Content

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Content Them: How long have you been programming? Me: Since high school Them: So you're a good programmer?

Oh. My. GOD! In this parallel universe, a robot is painting Totoro (the beloved Studio Ghibli character) instead of creating yet another AI-generated monstrosity! THE ABSOLUTE IRONY! While we're over here having existential crises about AI taking over our jobs, somewhere in the multiverse, AI is just chilling, making cute little anime portraits and living its best artsy life! Meanwhile, our GPT is busy writing passive-aggressive emails and generating 50 ways to optimize your LinkedIn profile! HONESTLY, I'D SWITCH UNIVERSES IN A HEARTBEAT! 💅