We Need To Keep Up

Content I work in IT, which is the reason our house has: - mechanical locks - mechanical windows - routers using OpenWRT - no smart home crap - no AlexaGoogle Assistant... - no internet connected thermostats Tech Enthusiasts: Everything in my house is wired to the Internet of Things! I control it all from my smartphone! My smart-house is bluetooth enabled and I can give it voice commands via alexa! I love the future! Programmers Engineers: The most recent piece of technology I own is a printer from 2004 and I keep a loaded gun ready to shoot it if it ever makes an unexpected noise.

Content When you need more precision than a float PREPARE FOR TROUBLE! MAKE IT DOUBLE!

Content Do you have protection? HTTPS: We are already protected, baby 6 HITPS:

Content NO EXCEPTION HANDLINGS

Content When you're helping someone out with their code even though you don't know what you're doing Your friend thinking you're a gnius

Behold! The most accurate depiction of development reality ever drawn by human hands! On the left, your code change workflow - majestic, detailed, robust like a thoroughbred horse ready for battle. And then there's your database change workflow - a pathetic stick figure abomination that looks like it was drawn by a caffeinated toddler with a crayon. We spend YEARS perfecting our code deployment pipelines with tests, CI/CD, and version control while our database migrations are basically "run this SQL and pray to the data gods it doesn't destroy production." The AUDACITY of us calling ourselves professionals while treating our precious data like this! 💀