Just Great

Content "Visual Studio has been updated successfully" made with mematic

When you want to try that shiny new framework but management says "we already have frameworks at home." The orange crabs are Rust - elegant, memory-safe, and actually useful. The bug-eyed gophers at home? That's the legacy codebase written in whatever language the previous dev thought was cool in 2011. Every developer knows this pain. You're eyeing those sweet new technologies while maintaining five different versions of the same app because "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" is tattooed on your CTO's forehead.

Content I WAnT TO - NO, NO! I WANT - STOP THAT BUY A BOAT! MADE BY VINCENTONL TO GO TO A PARTY! -THiNG! COPILOT DEV

Ah, the resume of the future. This person has mastered time travel before mastering job retention. Three prestigious tech companies, three one-day stints, all in the future. Either they're spectacularly bad at their job or they've discovered how to get fired across the space-time continuum. Pro tip: When fabricating your work experience, at least pretend you can hold a job longer than it takes to find the bathroom.

Just like Santa promising dragons, managers promising "productive standups" are selling fantasy. The moment you think they'll finally cut the 45-minute status theater where Dave drones about his JIRA tickets, they hit you with "what color do you want your dragon?" – asking about irrelevant details of a project that'll never see the light of day. The only thing more mythical than dragons is a standup that actually stays standing.

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