Code God

Ah, the Bard's prophetic vision of modern tech support. Shakespeare apparently predicted SSL certificate failures centuries before HTTPS was even a twinkle in Tim Berners-Lee's eye. "To connect, or not to connect, that is the error message." Somewhere, a sysadmin is nodding solemnly while restarting nginx for the fifth time today. The real tragedy isn't Hamlet—it's your expired certificates.

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Why actually learn SQL when you can just insult everyone else's intelligence instead? The classic developer shortcut: when in doubt, blame others! Nothing says "I'm totally competent" like calling database experts names while secretly Googling "what is a JOIN statement" for the fifth time today. The true mark of a 10x developer is their ability to deflect, not their ability to query.

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The classic "dog ate my homework" excuse enters the digital age! This poor CS student tried the oldest trick in the book, only to get caught in a programming pun trap of their own making. When the professor questions this absurd claim about a coding assignment, the student can't resist delivering that killer punchline: "it took him a couple bytes ." The silence that followed was probably more painful than debugging a recursive function at 3 AM. Next time, maybe try "my code compiled on my machine" instead – slightly more believable than a dog with a taste for JavaScript.

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