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Starting as a Database Administrator is all sunshine and confidence. "I'll optimize these queries! I'll normalize these tables!" Fast forward a few months of 3 AM production crashes, inexplicable deadlocks, and executives asking why the database is "slow" when they're running SELECT * on 50 million rows... That majestic fox turns into a taxidermied nightmare with thousand-yard stare that's seen things no DBA should see. The database might be running fine, but your soul? That's been DROP TABLE'd without a backup.

The eternal corporate blame game in its natural habitat. Nobody actually knows how the feature works because the documentation disappeared into the same void where missing socks and project timelines go. QA points to Product, Product points to Engineering, and Engineering points right back because that's how we roll in software development. Meanwhile, the customer is sitting there wondering why they pay for this circus. The real documentation was the friends we made along the way.

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