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Select Memes

Posts tagged with Select

Select All... And Watch Your DBA Cry

Databases Programming Debugging Backend

1 year ago 282.0K views 0 shares

Select All... And Watch Your DBA Cry

Oh. My. God. The DRAMA between DBAs and developers is sending me! 💀 Developer: "I'll just grab EVERYTHING with SELECT * and sort it out later!" DBA: *literally PUSHING the developer toward a cliff* "SPECIFIC COLUMNS ONLY YOU MONSTER!!!" And this, children, is why your database queries take 8 years to run. The SELECT * wildcard is basically asking the database to hand over its entire life story when all you needed was its name and phone number. Performance? Never heard of her!