Hardcoded Memes

Posts tagged with Hardcoded

Randomly Stumbled Upon This Code In My Company's Product (CAE Software)
Programming C++ Algorithms Math
11 days ago 230.5K views 0 shares
Randomly Stumbled Upon This Code In My Company's Product (CAE Software)
Someone really said "I could use a loop" and then proceeded to manually hardcode what appears to be quaternion rotation calculations for every possible case. Each line is a beautiful handcrafted snowflake of copy-pasted arithmetic operations with slightly different array indices. This is what happens when you learn programming from a stenographer. The best part? There's probably a single matrix multiplication library function that could replace this entire screen of madness. But no, someone decided to type out hundreds of lines of p.a.c[i] * p.a.c[j] combinations like they were getting paid by the character. The code review must have been legendary. This is peak "it works, don't touch it" territory. Nobody's refactoring this beast because nobody wants to be the one who breaks the CAE software that's been running in production for 15 years.

It's Working
Algorithms Programming StackOverflow
1 month ago 233.1K views 0 shares
It's Working
Someone asked for help printing numbers 1-25 in a clockwise expanding spiral pattern. The "solution" is just five hardcoded print statements with the numbers manually typed out in rows. No loops, no algorithms, no spiral logic—just raw, unfiltered copy-paste energy. The sender confidently declares "It's working" like they just solved P=NP. Technically correct? Sure. The numbers are there. They're in some kind of pattern. Mission accomplished, right? This is the programming equivalent of being asked to build a car and showing up with a skateboard taped to a lawnmower. The person who asked for help said "thanks" which means they either didn't actually look at the code, or they've completely given up on life. Both are valid responses in this industry.

Sounds A Bit Simple
Security Programming Python
1 month ago 174.1K views 0 shares
Sounds A Bit Simple
The classic "I'll just roll my own" energy right here. Using random , time , or os modules for random number generation? That's for normies who understand entropy and cryptographic security. Real chads hardcode their RNG by... wait, what? Just picking a number and calling it random? The top panel shows the sensible approach—leveraging well-tested external modules that actually use system entropy, hardware noise, or timing jitter to generate proper random numbers. The bottom panel? That's the developer who thinks return 4; // chosen by fair dice roll. guaranteed to be random. is peak engineering. It's deterministic chaos masquerading as randomness, and honestly, it's the kind of confidence that breaks cryptographic systems and makes security researchers weep into their coffee. Pro tip: If your random number generator doesn't involve at least some external entropy source, you're basically just writing fan fiction about randomness.

The Million Dollar API Key Giveaway
Security AI Programming Python Backend
8 months ago 288.0K views 0 shares
The Million Dollar API Key Giveaway
Congratulations! You've just launched a security breach disguised as an AI startup! The "yellow line" isn't a bug—it's your IDE screaming in terror because you've hardcoded API keys directly in your source code. Nothing says "professional developer" like publishing your AWS, Supabase, OpenAI, and custom API credentials to the entire internet. Those aren't just strings—they're golden tickets to your infrastructure that now belong to everyone with an internet connection. Pro tip: when speedrunning bankruptcy, this is definitely the optimal strategy!