Enterprise-code Memes

Senior devs dancing around after wrapping every simple function in AbstractFactoryBuilderManagerProxyStrategyObserverAdapterDecoratorFacade classes because "it's more maintainable." They've successfully transformed a 10-line feature into a sprawling architecture that requires a PhD to understand. The junior dev just wanted to add a button, but now they're navigating through FactoryFactory classes and wondering if they accidentally opened the Java Enterprise codebase. The real kicker? When someone asks "why is this so complicated?" they'll respond with "well, what if we need to scale this to support multiple button types in the future?" Spoiler: they won't. The button will do exactly one thing for the next 5 years, but at least it's "enterprise-ready" and follows SOLID principles so hard it became LIQUID.

Oh no. Your manager just discovered the Gang of Four book and now thinks they're an architect. What was once a simple 50-line feature is now being meticulously refactored into seventeen different classes, each with its own AbstractFactoryBuilderStrategyObserverDecoratorProxy. Every function call now requires navigating through six layers of indirection because "it's more maintainable this way." The codebase has transformed from a cozy cottage into a sprawling industrial complex where finding anything requires a map, a compass, and possibly divine intervention. Sure, it's "enterprise-ready" now, but you need a PhD just to add a button. The real kicker? Half these patterns are solving problems you don't even have yet. Welcome to over-engineering paradise, population: your entire dev team, all working overtime to understand what used to be obvious.