Oh honey, the AUDACITY of comparing yourself to an "alpha male" when you're literally just version 0.1 of a human being! Someone really said "I'm gonna destroy this man's entire existence" and equated alpha males to alpha releases—you know, those gloriously broken early versions of software that crash if you breathe on them wrong. The sheer DEVASTATION of being told you're not the dominant wolf of the pack, but rather a buggy mess that should've stayed in development for another six months. Imagine flexing your masculinity only to be told you're basically the software equivalent of "it works on my machine" energy. The roast is IMMACULATE, the burn is LEGENDARY, and somewhere an alpha male just blue-screened.