Age-of-empires Memes

Posts tagged with Age-of-empires

The Goat

The Goat
Someone built a functioning NAND gate in Age of Empires II using walls, terrain, and... goats as signal carriers. Yes, actual goats. Not transistors, not electrons— goats . Grass represents 0, bridges represent 1, and goats waddle between rails to carry the signal. When the gate fires, the "bit-goats" get removed and new ones are placed. They even implemented race condition handling with "gate ready" rails and signal-goats. If you can build logic gates in a medieval RTS game from 1999, you can build them anywhere. Someone probably has a working CPU by now. Turing was right—computation is universal. He just never imagined it would involve livestock and stone walls. Your production Kubernetes cluster wishes it had this level of documentation.

Yuri Is Master!

Yuri Is Master!
You spend months spec'ing, ordering parts, troubleshooting POST errors, cable managing like your life depends on it, and finally boot into that pristine new build. Your friend asks what cutting-edge AAA title you'll christen it with. Plot twist: you're running Age of Empires II or Command & Conquer at 600 FPS because nothing hits quite like the classics. That RTX 4090 was clearly purchased for optimal sheep herding simulation and pixelated tank rushes. The hardware may be 2024, but the heart yearns for 1999.

New Monitor Technologies Are Crazy

New Monitor Technologies Are Crazy
So WOLED uses RGBW subpixels with color filters to create your display, which is perfectly reasonable engineering. But WOLOLOLED? That's just four blue subpixels passing through a "Wololololo Filter" consisting of... dancing wizards? For the uninitiated: "Wololo" is the iconic sound from Age of Empires where priests convert enemy units by chanting, and they literally change color to join your team. So instead of sophisticated color filter technology, WOLOLOLED just converts everything to blue through the power of medieval religious persuasion. The subpixel notation changes from *RGBW to *BBBB because why have color diversity when you can just convert everyone to Team Blue? Honestly, if Samsung or LG announced this at CES with a straight face, half the tech reviewers would probably write articles about it before realizing they'd been pranked. "Revolutionary new conversion-based display technology promises 100% blue accuracy."