Account security Memes

Google's security priorities are seriously questionable. When your account gets hacked? A single flimsy gate that doesn't even close properly. But log in from your new phone? Suddenly it's Fort Knox with seven different locks, chains, and probably a retinal scan that they didn't show in the picture. I've spent more time proving I'm me to Google than I have to my own mother. Nothing says "we value security" like making legitimate users jump through hoops while leaving the backdoor wide open for actual intruders.

The duality of Google security: completely useless fence when someone hacks your account vs. Fort Knox when you're just trying to check your email on a new phone. Nothing says "we care about your security" like interrogating legitimate users while letting hackers stroll through the side entrance. The digital equivalent of TSA confiscating your water bottle while missing the actual threat.

When your Steam account gets hacked, support suddenly morphs into The Undertaker coming for the hacker's soul. That moment when Valve's customer service transforms from "we'll get back to you in 2-3 business years" to "we've tracked their IP address and dispatched a team." Nothing motivates a company like someone messing with their payment methods.