Android development at it's finest

Content OK I've tried everything, I can't make the image files any smaller Really? So actually, I did look in the console, and what I saw was a whole lot of Javascript! More than 900KB of Javascript libraries in fact. Maybe you could make some savings there... But look, look how slow the site is loading! Check out the console, there are a bunch of icons that ore 12KB each! 12KB for an icon, that's crazy! You could reduce them a lot by exporting them as SVG, or even pure CSS! Don't look at that. Javascript is not the same Now go optimize your PNGs CommitStrip.com

Asking "Is the server up?" and getting "Well, it was working yesterday but then Dave pushed some changes and now it's giving a 502 sometimes but only on Tuesdays" is the digital equivalent of asking if someone wants coffee and getting their life story. Boolean questions expect true/false answers, not a novel-length string that requires three scrolls and a therapist to process. The face says it all—that moment of silent suffering we all experience waiting for the simple "yes" or "no" that will never come.

Content C, do you ever get sad about not. having boolean variables? Python, that's just silly. Who needs booleans, when integers are so much better! Huh! How would you know, anyway? Fine. Let's ask Java. Java. wnica co vourink are better, bools or ints? Geez, that's a hard one. Come on Java, you must know! You have both types! Well. Sorry, guys... just can't compare them.

Content ?php header ("Content-type: texthtml; charsetutf-8"); This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code. I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing using a BaseX setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried by a handwritten plate of uncommented PHP spaghetti fit to feed an army of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS. The very long BaseX script, very long PH presenter and very long XSLT stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I bet they have mismatches somewhere. Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing this after a prolonged medical therapy - mostly successful, thanks for asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice: Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a relapse simply by opening this file again to write this comment. Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world and hope it will be enough. Farewell. error reporting(E ALL); ini set ("displayerrors", true); printi'7xml version"1.0" encoding "UTF-8" 7'. "In"):?

Content When you are asked to program a simple calculator but your calculator runs on JavaScript: 10 Calculate Result 105

The simplicity-to-verbosity pipeline of programming languages in one perfect SpongeBob progression: Python's print - clean, simple, happy SpongeBob energy. Just works! C++'s cout - slightly more complex with those weird << operators, but still manageable. SpongeBob's starting to feel the strain. And then there's Java's System.out.println - the final boss of verbosity that makes you question your life choices. Poor SpongeBob looks like he's having an existential crisis just typing it out. The real nightmare isn't the syntax - it's that someone at Oracle decided "Hey, let's make developers type 21 characters where 5 would do!"