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The eternal developer purgatory: staring at an error message that might as well be written in ancient Sumerian. "Bad argument on line 237" — thanks for narrowing it down to just the entire function. Modern languages with their PhDs and billions in funding still can't tell you what you did wrong without making you feel like you're decoding the Enigma. Sure, let's spend 3 hours debugging what turns out to be a missing semicolon. Totally reasonable use of my finite existence on this planet.

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Ah, the classic programmer performance anxiety. Coding alone? Simple addition. Someone watching over your shoulder? Suddenly you're writing a doctoral thesis on integer addition with XML documentation, private methods, and enough comments to make your code look like a legal disclaimer. The sad part? That function body is still empty because your brain blue-screened the moment someone said "can I see what you're working on?"

When you've been coding for so long that you start indexing real-world objects from zero. Normal people would call this the first step, but programmers know better—it's obviously step[0]. The contractor probably spent years debugging array out-of-bounds exceptions and now can't help but apply zero-indexing to everything they build. Just wait until they number the floors in their next apartment building: Ground, 1, 2... just to watch the mathematicians and Europeans lose their minds.

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