Same Class Different Styles

Content Me after a long day of coding and investing 0 in ergonomics ProgrammerHumor.

Content MAN, I SUCK AT THIS GAME. CAN YOU GIVE ME A FEW POINTERS? I HATE YOU. 0x3A28213A 06339392C, 07363682E. a

Oh. My. God. The absolute DRAMA of JavaScript developers! 🙄 Instead of writing a simple function themselves, they'll drag in 47 BAJILLION npm packages like SpongeBob hauling that ridiculous mountain of presents! Why write 10 lines of code when you can install an entire ecosystem with 9,427 dependencies that'll break in six months? The shopping cart is literally SCREAMING under the weight of all those unnecessary packages! Meanwhile, the function they needed could've been written faster than it takes to type "npm install massive-overkill-package-for-simple-task"! It's the developer equivalent of buying an entire Home Depot to hang a single picture frame!

The brutal honesty of modern programming tutorials has reached new heights! This gem shows a "self-taught programmer" with the cheerful advice to "Kill Yourself" while sporting the classic YouTube dev setup: beanie, microphone, and obligatory dark-themed code in the background. It's the perfect encapsulation of that moment when you've watched 47 tutorials, still have no idea what you're doing, and the tutorial creator finally admits what we're all thinking: maybe learning to center a div wasn't worth the existential crisis after all.

Ah, the classic tale of software development dysfunction! The requirements doc and production code staring at each other like total strangers at a party, despite supposedly being intimately related. One says "No" while the other confidently declares "Yes" - a perfect representation of that moment when stakeholders ask if what was built matches what was requested. The requirements doc is in complete denial while the code is living in its own fantasy world. It's not a bug, it's an undocumented feature! Or more accurately, it's a documented feature that nobody bothered to implement correctly. The eternal disconnect between theory and practice, much like my relationship with my gym membership.

Content This technique for appraising developers was subsequently dropped, but some senior engineers in banking say it's not as bad as it looks. One executive director in the engineering team of a US bank says lines of code (LOC) are an important part of the calculus when appraising a developer's competency and the value of keeping himher. "Almost always, top performers have a high LOC count relative to the team or a high number of projects contributed to. Low performers tend to have low LOC relative to the team," he says. Other methods of measuring the quality of engineers have been tried, but they haven't always succeeded. JPMorgan, for example, introduced a system called BlueOptima to monitor the efficiency of its developers in late 2019, but it was discontinued after complaints. After plugging in a productivity analytics platform' for its developers, Credit Suisse showcased the following chart in its long-forgotten 2017 investor day presentation. It suggests that a few top performing teams do most of the work.