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The eternal battle between product managers and coders in their natural habitat! When the PM desperately pleads "Stop doing refactors" (because features and deadlines, obviously), programmers respond with pure rebellion: "You know what? I'm going to do refactors even harder." It's the coding equivalent of cleaning your room by first throwing everything into a bigger pile. Sure, it looks worse temporarily, but we swear it'll be beautiful once we're done eliminating those 17 nested if-statements that make us cry at night. Technical debt doesn't pay itself!

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When a colleague announces they're leaving, there are two types of developers: those who mourn the loss of institutional knowledge, and those who've seen Billy's SQL queries. Poor Billy committed the cardinal database sin: using a cross join with a group-by clause. That's like using a flamethrower to light birthday candles – technically it works, but the collateral damage is... extensive. The remaining team members aren't celebrating Billy's departure – they're planning his execution before he can push that monstrosity to production. Because nothing says "farewell party" like debugging someone's queries that would bring a database server to its knees.