Immortal code Memes

PHP has been declared dead more times than a horror movie villain, yet somehow it's still powering like 80% of the web. The language that everyone loves to hate but secretly depends on is basically the tech equivalent of that cockroach that survives the nuclear apocalypse. Modern frameworks? Got 'em. Composer package management? Check. Type hinting? Sure, why not. Meanwhile, the "cool kids" with their shiny new JavaScript frameworks are on version 47.3.2 and your app broke because someone updated a dependency by one minor version. PHP's secret to immortality? It just works. No idea how. No idea why. It just refuses to die, much to the chagrin of computer science professors everywhere.