Gaming platforms Memes

You know what's wild? Epic, EA, Ubisoft, and everyone else saw Steam's 30% cut and thought "we can do better!" Then they proceeded to launch storefronts with missing features, terrible UX, and the performance of a potato running Crysis. Steam's "monopoly" isn't because they're evil—it's because they actually built something people don't hate using. Cloud saves that work, a refund policy that doesn't require a lawyer, community features, and a client that doesn't feel like it was coded during a hackathon at 3 AM. Meanwhile, Epic buys exclusives instead of fixing their shopping cart. Origin somehow made buying games feel like filing taxes. And don't even get me started on the Microsoft Store, which still can't figure out where it installed your game. Competition is great when the competitors aren't speedrunning how to alienate users. Build something actually good, and gamers will show up. Until then, Gabe Newell gets to keep printing money.

Someone took the original "rate your favorite platform" meme and said "hold up, let me add some reality to this." The progression is chef's kiss: 2008 shows gamers rating platforms based on games, 2012 shows them literally running away from the corporate overlords (that dust cloud is doing some heavy lifting), and by 2021 they've given up entirely and just accepted their fate under Steam's benevolent monopoly while casually roasting the competition. The piracy flag staying consistently in "GREAT" territory across all three years? That's not a bug, that's a feature. The stick figure's accusation of "Why do you have all the customers? Monopoly!" while standing in the BAD zone is the real punchline here—turns out when you're actually good at what you do (regional pricing, refunds, sales, not being Epic), people tend to stick around. Who knew treating customers well was a viable business strategy?

PC gamers and the Epic Games Store have a relationship that can only be described as "transactional at best." You open it once a week to claim your free game like you're collecting coupons at a grocery store, then immediately close it and pretend it doesn't exist. The Epic launcher sits there in your taskbar, wondering if it'll ever experience the warmth of human interaction again. Spoiler alert: it won't. Not until next Thursday when they're giving away another indie game you'll add to your library of 47 unplayed titles. Steam stays open 24/7 like a loyal golden retriever, but Epic? That's the friend you only text when you need something. And honestly, Epic knows what they signed up for.

The eternal battle between PC and console gaming boiled down to cold, hard economics. Console players getting robbed twice - first for the hardware, then for the privilege of connecting to the internet they already pay for . Meanwhile, PC gamers smugly buying a game once and playing it forever (or until the servers die because nobody wanted to pay for maintenance). It's the digital equivalent of buying the cow vs. paying monthly for milk delivery from a cow you already bought.