Oh boy, this shirt is basically an SQL query for dating preferences, written by someone who clearly needs to update their human interaction drivers. The query starts off innocently enough with SELECT * FROM "GIRLS" WHERE age BETWEEN 18 and 20 (standard database filtering), but then spirals into a creepy checklist with boyfriend = false , is_cute = true , etc. The real bug in this code isn't the syntax—it's the programmer's social algorithm. Guaranteed to return ERROR: No matches found (and several restraining orders). The perfect shirt for announcing "I treat women like database entries" to the entire coffee shop!