Burndown charts Memes

Ah, the sweet sound of a developer who's been through one too many sprint retrospectives where nothing actually improves. What started as a manifesto written by reasonable people has morphed into corporate theater where we pretend estimating tasks with Fibonacci numbers and t-shirt sizes somehow makes software appear faster. Meanwhile, scope keeps expanding, burndown charts look like seismograph readings during an earthquake, and somehow we end with more points than we started with. That pie chart is the truest thing I've seen all day. 90% planning meetings where we argue if something is an 8 or a 13, and 10% actual coding squeezed in between "ceremonies." And don't get me started on the scrum masters who think "velocity" is something you can increase by having more meetings about increasing velocity. The real agile was the friends we made along the way... while hiding in conference rooms trying to get actual work done.