Me in the next 6 years (probably):

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Content HOW EFFECTIVE IT IS ProgrammerHumor. DEBUGGING TACTICS A WALK O READ THE DOCS USE O BREAKPOINTS 1ST PAGE oF GOOGLING O TALK TO A RUBBER DUCK 5TH PAGE OF GOOGLING PRINT ("HERE!") o RUN THE SAME CODE AGAIN, HOPE IT MAGICALLY WORKS Now HOW OFTEN I TRY IT

The AUDACITY of my brain to get hyper-fixated on some random side project while my main project gasps for air like a drowning child! Meanwhile, the company's revenue-critical project? HONEY, that's a full-on skeletal remains situation—decomposing at the bottom of the ocean while I'm over here coding a useless Chrome extension that sorts my bookmarks by color! The project manager is sending increasingly desperate Slack messages, but I simply cannot be bothered when I'm THIS close to optimizing my side project's loading time by 0.03 seconds! PRIORITIES, am I right?!

The code comment redundancy epidemic has reached street signs! Just like that sign helpfully pointing out "THIS IS A STOP SIGN" under an actual stop sign, junior devs have a special talent for writing comments that state the painfully obvious: // This function adds two numbers function add(a, b) {   return a + b; // Returns the sum } Senior devs scrolling through that code base are experiencing physical pain right now. Remember folks: good comments explain why , not what . Unless you're documenting an API, in which case... carry on with your obvious statements!

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Content IMA CLOUD DEVELOPER IT MEANS HE'S A AFRAID OF LOCAL STORAGE ClUSERSI imgfip.com WHAT'S THAT? NO IM NOT! STOP IT PATRICK YOUR SCARING HIM!