Do you even indent bro? Outsourced some code to India :(

Ah, the modern tech job posting—where companies want a single developer with the skills of seventeen specialists working for the price of one junior. The guy nails it perfectly. When recruiters list every technology under the sun—from three programming languages to multiple frameworks, databases, cloud services, DevOps tools, and system administration—they're basically asking for a unicorn who can replace their entire engineering team. After 15 years in the industry, I've seen job descriptions evolve from "Java developer" to "technical demigod who can single-handedly build, deploy, and maintain the entire digital infrastructure of a Fortune 500 company while also making coffee." And the best part? They'll still call it "entry-level" and offer you exposure instead of a proper salary.

Content How can you code in this? There's no dark mode!

Database sitting there like it's filling out TPS reports while Cache is handling a full press conference. Typical. The database is doing all the actual work storing your precious data, but Cache gets all the attention because it's faster at answering the same stupid questions over and over. Just like management - they'll ignore the reliable workhorse and praise the flashy middleman who just repeats what everyone already knows.

When you're trying to explain the logical OR operator to someone but they keep saying it wrong, so you just give up and embrace the chaos. Left side: developers losing their minds trying to correct pronunciation. Right side: the zen master who's transcended caring and just calls it "oror" like it's a Pokémon evolution. The beauty here is that no matter how you pronounce it—whether it's "or operator or or," "double pipe," "logical or," or just mashing your keyboard—the compiler doesn't care about your feelings. It evaluates to true either way. The real operator overload is the emotional baggage we carry trying to verbalize symbolic logic. Fun fact: Some languages have both || (logical OR) and | (bitwise OR), which makes this pronunciation nightmare even worse. Good luck explaining "pipe pipe" vs "pipe" in a code review without sounding unhinged.

Content Kristen DiMercurio kdimerc A tip for those of us who work at screens all day: 1. Unclench your jaw 2. Twist your torso from side to side 3. Arch backwards til you're upside down with your hands and feet on the floor 4. Laugh 5. Spider crawl across the room 6. Devour someone whole 7. Haunt the witnesses 22:54 - 32619 Twitter for iPhone

Content 17 You Retweeted Amy cableknitjumper programming C-3PO you know what this miracle piece of technology needs?? anxiety 9:56 AM Dec 6, 2020 Twitter for Android 000 24 Retweets 1 Quote Tweet 177 Likes 17