Apparently, chickens run debian.

What fresh hell is this? Someone decided to nest animations within animations, with timing functions that depend on each other, and then threw in boolean flags named "finished" and "finishedInside" because apparently we're writing code that doubles as an adult film script. This is the kind of animation code that makes you wake up at 3 AM six months later when the client reports that "sometimes the button jiggles wrong on Samsung devices but only on Tuesdays." The triple equality check is the cherry on top. Like, yes, let's make absolutely sure we're comparing the exact same type while the rest of this code is playing 4D chess with timing functions.

Content After opening Chrome and Android studio on 512mb ram Notifications Your CPU temperature has exceeded 8125C Prolonged use at this teleperature may shorten the CPUs lifespan Microloft ExplorenNatification (48996002-9B03-PAZ-7F54-UBSUSADSETE Sun Surface temperature 5,505 C

Content Who are we? What do we want? When do we want it? Clients! We don't know! NOW!

Content Iworry about you passing outYou are looking quite pale and tired already Don'tworry. lamjusta Beteleper

Content HOW TO GODE FAST OPEN BROWSER A SEARCHEOR TECODE CONTROLC ONTROLV

The ultimate video compression algorithm! This dev created a function that identifies and removes "unnecessary" frames from movies—and apparently decided that 99.9999% of Fast & Furious is just excessive explosion footage. The algorithm is technically correct (the best kind of correct)—if you strip out everything except the plot, you're left with approximately 0.042 seconds of content. Reminds me of that time I optimized our codebase by deleting all the comments, whitespace, error handling, and user interface. Ship it!