Wellness Memes

Backend engineers: the only people who think "reconnecting with your body" means checking if the server is still responding. This HR person tried to organize a wellness walk, and literally everyone showed up except the one backend engineer who stayed glued to his desk. When asked why he didn't join, his response was pure gold: "I'm willing to work, not walk." The man understood the assignment—just not the one HR intended. He took "walk out the door and never come back" as a feature request rather than a threat, and actually implemented it. Now they're hiring. Backend engineers operate on a different plane of existence where social activities are just unnecessary API calls that return 404. The dedication is admirable, the social skills... less so. Fun fact: Backend engineers have the highest rate of vitamin D deficiency in tech, second only to database administrators who haven't seen sunlight since they started optimizing that one query in 2019.