File handling Memes

Posts tagged with File handling

The File Deletion Witness Protection Program

The File Deletion Witness Protection Program
Windows file deletion is basically a soap opera. You ask to delete one simple file and suddenly Windows is like "OMG there's DRAMA! Someone's using this file right now!" But when you ask who's using it? Windows goes full witness protection program. "I've been sworn to secrecy!" Meanwhile, you're just sitting there wondering if your computer is hosting secret file parties behind your back. The best part? That file is probably just locked by Windows Explorer itself, which is basically like your roommate saying they can't tell you who ate your leftovers while they have sauce on their face.

Quill And Code: The Ancient Debugging Technique

Quill And Code: The Ancient Debugging Technique
When your CS professor says "no laptops for the exam" and you have to write C code like it's 1972. The hand cramps! The smudged headers! The inability to Ctrl+Z when you realize your file handling logic is completely broken! Nothing says "I'm a real programmer" like debugging pointer arithmetic with an actual quill pen while silently praying your struct alignment is correct. Medieval debugging at its finest.

Possibly The Worst Way To Read A File In C

Possibly The Worst Way To Read A File In C
This code is the programming equivalent of filling a bathtub one teaspoon at a time while expanding the bathtub after each spoon. 😱 Instead of reading the file in chunks or pre-allocating memory, this monster allocates exactly ONE byte, reads ONE character, reallocates the ENTIRE array, and repeats for EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER. The malloc/realloc combo is basically begging the memory manager to have a nervous breakdown. The performance would be so catastrophically bad that you could probably go make a sandwich between reading "Hello" and "World". It's like watching someone solve a maze by rebuilding the entire universe after each step.