Black-box Memes

The holy trinity of developer excuses, ranked by confidence level. Algorithm: "I could explain it, but do you really have 3 hours and a whiteboard?" Translation: it works, don't touch it. Heuristic: "It's not a bug, it's a feature based on vibes and trial-and-error." You threw stuff at the wall until something stuck, and now you're calling it a strategy. Machine Learning: The ultimate get-out-of-jail-free card. Even the model doesn't know why it works. You trained it on some data, sacrificed a GPU to the tech gods, and now it spits out answers. Is it right? Maybe. Can you explain it? Absolutely not. But hey, it's "learning," so who are we to question the black box? Slap any of these labels on your code and suddenly you're not writing spaghetti—you're doing "advanced computer science."