Bedroom Memes

THE AUDACITY of parents calling it a "messy pile" when it's CLEARLY an optimized system! Sweetie, this isn't laziness—it's COMPUTER SCIENCE IN ACTION ! My bedroom chair isn't cluttered, it's a sophisticated L1 cache architecture where my most-worn t-shirts achieve BLAZING O(1) access times! The bigger the pile, the fewer cache misses! Do you want me digging through drawers like some kind of BARBARIAN with O(log n) closet lookups?! I am LITERALLY OPTIMIZING MY LIFE while you're over there worried about "tidiness" like it's 1995! The optimization committee has spoken—this pile STAYS!